The Titanic theme played on the recorder.

This is the hardest I’ve laughed in a long time. Holy shit. I can’t breathe and I’m in literal tears rn.

What Makes You HAHA

• 12th graders: ew 11th graders

• 11th graders: ew 10th graders

• 10th graders: ew 9th graders

• 9th graders: ew middle schoolers

• middle schoolers: ew elementary kids

• elementary kids: ew babies

• babies: ew fetus

• fetus: ew wait how am i talking

Lent

• Me: uhhhh, i think i should give up saying "that's what she said"

• S: that's hard!

• Me: that's what she said

• Me: damn it

• tyra banks: 10 beautiful ladies stand before me

• tyra banks: but i only have nine pictures in my hands

• tyra banks: and they're all of me

• tyra banks: lol

And if you’re single, and it’s like the apocalypse for you that you don’t have anybody on Valentine’s Day, shut the fuck up. Nobody cares, okay? Go listen to Grenade by Bruno Mars, and pretend that somebody gives a shit.

-listening to Adele in the car-

• Kenneth: i don't even like her

• Me: omg, you don't? i love her!

• Kenneth: like, she needs to get over him

• Me: omg

• Kenneth: two songs is enough, like, really?

• Me: HAHAHA

LOL.

• Teacher: If you have 10 pieces of candy and your friend asks for one, how many do you have?

• Student: 10

you-had-to-be-there moment~

• Me: what disney princess movie HAVEN'T you watched?

• Izella: well, i haven't really watched mulan...

• Me: really? she's like my favorite!

• Izella: i mean pinocchio!

• Me: HAHAHAHAHA WHAT...

• Izella: no, omg. i mean pocahontas!!!

in health class, again~

• Ms Shapira: what's the opposite of constipation?

• Class: diarrhea!

• Ms Shapira: yeah, but i call it... the hershey squirts

• Class: ewe..

in health class~

• Ms Shapira: name 3 different contraceptions. like condoms, birth control pills... what else?

• Joey: PULL OUT!

It’s better to get pissed OFF.

Than get pissed ON.